Sitting on my pink cloud

Was expecting initial non-drinking period to comprise of gloomy angst-filled days mourning the fact that the “good times” are over.  In fact I feel fine.  No physical signs of withdrawal – just a vague restlessness at times.  A feeling that something is missing – which indeed it is. Books I am reading emphasise that instead of self-deprivation it’s better to focus on the “freedom” that is gained.  A good analogy is the “prison” which one has walked out of – the door remains open and it’s possible to return at any time.  Modern thinking seems to be moving away from the “one day at a time” and “X days sober” – away from “willpower” and being branded an “alcoholic” even after many years of sobriety.  After all ex-smokers are not called “smokeholics”.  Also interesting is that alcohol is the only drug that one has to justify not taking.  Perhaps because 80% of people drink? In fact I think I am currently residing somewhere called the “pink cloud land of sobriety”.  One hates to be smug but this non-drinking lark seems pretty easy so far.  Of course that could all change in a heartbeat.

The “pink cloud” is an AA term for the high that drinkers experience when they quit – at least it seems we are still entitled to some highs 😉  It’s a honeymoon in sobriety.  That would explain the excitement I feel when I wake up to yet another AF (alcohol free) day.  Of course the trouble with honeymoons is that the bliss is temporary so I must find ways to prolong it. Getting fabulous support from this blog.  Apart from loyal bloggees from previous blogs now have a whole new online gang from brilliant website www.soberistas.com.  Also great support from the men in my life – Husband, Son and Brother (thanks guys!). Friend Mandy called in astonishment when she saw my blog and announced that she is joining me as my “sobersister” – “if you can do it then so can I!” she said.  Still trying to figure out if that is a compliment – or not. My favourite reaction was on Facebook from Noleen.. “What!?!?!?! – I am shocked, impressed, sad, weepy, proud and a little depressed.  So many emotions!  I need a drink!” Here is a picture with myself and Noleen “on the bubbly” during a recent week-end away.

 

pink cloud

 

Have navigated two restaurant dinners this week.  First one with some new friends.  I guzzled a bottle of fizzy water while everybody else hit the vino.  Had a myriad of excuses ready but in fact nobody seemed to notice… Second dinner was with a girlfriend who announced that as she could “take it or leave it” she would also become my  “sobersister”.  Tried soda water and Bitters as an apero (yawn) followed by yet more fizzy water.  Not easy when delicious pork belly was crying out for several huge glasses of Cabernet Sauvignon. Just finished reading Alastair Campbell’s tribute to Charles Kennedy in UK Sunday Times.  He maintains that anyone who has had a troubled relationship with alcohol knows that this is the way you must think of it – as a relationship.  Some days you are in control of it;  others you are not.  For the moment I seem to be in control.

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12 thoughts on “Sitting on my pink cloud

  1. Michelle Pattison

    I’m delighted for you. If you won the battle against cancer, you can do this! I’m two years teetotal having tried, and failed to moderate too often.

    I feel I have my life back and something that apeals to me more and more is the exclusivity of ‘our club’.

    I feel like I found the golden ticket!

    I hope you thoroughly continue to enjoy this wonderful new world, minus the blinkers! xxx

    1. janetgourand

      Thanks Michelle – feels good to be in “the club” xx

  2. Mandy

    Lovely Janet indeed I am still inspired and yes my comment was certainly meant to be a compliment 🙂 Looking forward to the ‘pink cloud’. Love and admire you!

    1. janetgourand

      thanks beautiful Mands – looking forward to celebrating your birthday with a SNI next week
      xxxxxxxx

  3. Jessica

    Hello

    First of all well done you. Its takes an awful lot to stop.

    I have had nearly a year of not drinking and it has totally changed my life. Reading your story you sound so similar to me and the relationship I had with wine.

    You do go for a “pink stage” of when you first stop drinking and its getting past that first few months. I read the books over and over again by Alan Carr and Sober is the New Black. I also tried CBT which did help. Like you AA not for me I don’t believe in the higher power but I do believe in mind over matter.

    Good luck and I look forward to seeing more of your blogs.

    xxx

    1. janetgourand

      Thanks for the encouragement Jessica – and well done for doing a year! Will post blog later today..
      Xxx

  4. Tina

    Hi Janet – what can I say. Your story is so like mine and it appears we have given up at the same time and probably for the same reasons. I too am finding it not too difficult at the moment. I think I made the decision and it’s almost like something has clicked within me. Instead of worrying where my next drink is coming from, for once I actually feel really calm and in control, which is a fantastic feeling. Let’s keep each other motivated? Off for a pot of mint tea!!

    1. janetgourand

      Hi Tina
      Lovely to hear from you – yes we seem to be in the same place at the moment – long may it continue. Have just signed up for a “how to stop drinking course” in London on 4 July – think I will be in need of some reinforcement by then! Good luck and keep in touch!

  5. Tina

    How are you today Janet? Are you coping with Friday evening and the weekend ahead?

  6. janetgourandJanet

    Hi Tina. Am good thanks – just been to the park and had a nice chat with my sober-buddy – how are you?

    1. Tina

      Hi Janet, yes great thanks. Hubby and I drove off to the coast and had amazing fish and chips sat on the harbour wall last night. The sun was incredible and it felt goooood!! Simple pleasures!

      1. janetgourand

        Sounds like fun 😜

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